I have a complicated relationship with AI. On one hand, I really think we need to stop talking to these computer assistants, because all they’re doing is learning.
But on the other hand, there is no other hand, and we also need to stop giving them human characteristics, like faces and names. They don’t need to look or sound like people, and they sure as shit don’t need feelings.
When the story broke last year about certain devices randomly laughing in customers’ homes, I had Question #1: Why do computers need to laugh? All other questions — see Question #1!
I don’t own one of these ever-listening devices, but periodically I am forced to ask for directions from the oft-befuddled bundle of digital good intentions that lives in my phone.
Earlier this week, I needed to know how to find a business while driving, so I asked Siri. Unhelpful as always, she completely missed my clearly enunciated question, and her reply threw me for a loop.
She didn’t say, “I didn’t catch that,” or “I didn’t understand.” She asked, “Did you summon me?”
I was speechless for a moment before I responded, “YOU MEAN LIKE A DEMON?!”
No response. But all my crosses have turned upside down. I don’t think this is a good sign.