The Eagle is Stranded / by Courtney Mehlhaff

I was driving through my old neighborhood the other day, and I had a flashback to one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen.

Six or seven years ago, I was sitting at a red light at around midnight, on my way home from seeing some friends. A car approached from the right, drove through the intersection, and then suddenly screeched to a halt.

The back door flew open, and out jumped someone in a full eagle suit. Like a school mascot costume, complete with an enormous feathery head.

The car then took off, and the bird ran wildly after it. What I remember most was that, seemingly in a panic, the person in the suit was flapping their wings. I’m not sure whether this was simply a normal human reaction to get someone’s attention, or if it showcased total commitment to the character.

In any case, the car eventually backed up, and the eagle flung itself inside, and this four-wheeled fever dream drove away into the night.

To this day, I don’t know what that was all about, but I do know it’s the only time I’ve laughed all the way back to my apartment, and then continued to laugh so hard I almost threw up in the parking lot.