Today's word: devil's advocate. Definition: One who argues against a cause or position simply for the sake of argument or to determine the validity of the cause or position.
Is there anything more annoying than people who find it necessary to constantly play devil's advocate? I'm not talking about those who interject in a helpful, well-meaning, "Hey, but think about this ..." kind of way. I'm referring to the people who are compelled to just be contrary, no matter what the subject is -- the people who might secretly agree wholeheartedly with whatever is being said, but who would never in a million years admit it.
Why not? Who knows. Maybe they don't like the person who came up with the idea. Maybe they need to appear smarter or more worldly than everyone else. Maybe they automatically resist anything mainstream. Or maybe their underwear's too tight. I'm not a mind reader; all I know is it drives me crazy.
And yet, I have to admit, there have been one or two people in my life who have unintentionally brought out this quality in me. For whatever reason, I felt compelled to disagree with almost everything they said. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn't help myself. Call it passive-agressive if you must. I grew up South Dakota Lutheran, we practically took lessons in it.
However, I'm generally a very agreeable person. I'm even-keeled, I'm pleasant, I'm empathetic, and there are shockingly few things that I have strong enough opinions about to dive into arguments that would lose me friends. Sometimes I think I'm even too "live and let live, to each his own." My dad once said to me, in all seriousness, "I hate to break this to you, but you're what many would consider a liberal." If by that I'm labeled as someone who recognizes that everybody's just trying to get through this world the best they know how, then I suppose that's true.
Almost more than any other quality, moodiness really bothers me. I don't like not knowing what I'm going to get every time I see someone. Because then I have to adjust my life to accommodate their mood, and I don't think it's fair to make everyone around you suffer because you're angry or tired or insecure or whatever. I'm not saying people have to be all sunshine and puppies all the time, but I could do my best to help you out if you'd just give me a heads up about what's really going on.
What bothers me is that, when I played devil's advocate with people in the past, I was becoming the thing that I hate ... and I hate that. Don't they say that the qualities that trouble us in others are really our worst qualities, the ones we aren't willing to admit we possess? Is that what makes it so easy for us to recognize them in others?
I guess, in the grand scheme of things, being slightly grumpy and disagreeable isn't the worst thing I could have done. I mean, I wasn't really advocating for the devil. Come to think about it, that's probably one of the few issues that I would feel strongly enough about to make or break a friendship.
Because if someone actually came up to me and said, "Have you heard all the wonderful things about Satan?" ... well, I would still be an agreeable person. But I would be an agreeable person running like hell in the opposite direction.