It’s been a shitty week, folks, so I’m going to quickly recount for you the only dream I’ve ever had that caused me to wake up laughing as a fully grown adult.
I’m sitting in an elementary school classroom, and the teacher calls on a student next to me. “How do you spell America?”
The student says with utmost confidence, “A-M-A-R-I-K-A.”
“Sorry, that’s incorrect,” says the teacher.
But the student counters with, “Well how do monkeys hear it?”
In the dream, I begin laughing so hard that the teacher turns to me angrily and says, “What’s so funny about that?”
And I say, “Well, she’s got a point.”
Wait for it . . .
“Cuz monkeys hear what they WANNA hear, amiright?”