If I had a dollar for every time I’ve dropped my phone onto my face, I’d never have to work again.
My vision is terrible, so when I’m in bed without my glasses on, my phone screen needs to be about two inches from my eyes before I can read it. This would be fine if I were sitting propped up against pillows, but I’m usually lying flat. So if my fingers happen to slip — BAM! I catch an elderly iPhone right in the cornea.
Harmful? Minimally. Embarrassing? Slightly. I wish I had a supercut of every hit, followed by the profanity.
One particular collision takes the cake, however. I was leisurely scrolling on Pinterest one night when my butterfingers betrayed me yet again. My phone smacked against my nose and mouth, and in the process of fumbling to recover it, I somehow managed to send a random photo of a hat to one of my coworkers.
Let me repeat that. My face selected a picture, selected a recipient from my friends list, and then sent a message on my behalf. I probably couldn’t do it quicker right now if I tried. And I hadn’t even been looking at hats!
When I realized what had happened, I laughed for about ten minutes. Then I had to write to this friend to explain myself, as nowhere in our conversation history have we ever discussed headwear.
Next time I saw her in person, I asked what she would have done if I hadn’t followed up with a reason for the very random late-night image. She shrugged and said, “I don’t know. It was actually a pretty cute hat.”
My face may be wiser (and more fashion forward) than I give it credit for.