It's a Friggin' Free Couch / by Courtney Mehlhaff

Back from hiatus ... and exhausted by my first day back at the grind.  I've decided that the truest benchmark of whether your job is stressful is when you have two weeks off and your skin clears up. 

So, in the interest of preserving my energy (at least for today) I'm posting a Craigslist ad for a couch that a friend stumbled across and sent me for amusement.  God, I love people.

Deep reddish, almost purple-ish in color. Corduroy-type material. About 8 years old. Comes with 4 couch pillows. Does not come with the blue blanket shown in the photo (sorry, it was the best photo I could find at the moment, since the couch temporarily has some stuff stored on it while I rearrange my living room). 

PLEASE NOTE: 

Until Friday, January 1st, I will NOT BE AVAILABLE to respond to any emails or make arrangements for you to pick up the couch, so please be patient. And no, I will not measure the couch, calculate its mass or specific gravity, call you, help you move it, high five you, or even give you some sort of barely perceptible knowing nod. It's a friggin' free couch of average size. Come and get it or don't. 

Also, couch may or may not come with free awkward discretionary hug.